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Friday, March 5, 2010

Learning To be a Housewife

Yesterday's quiz answer? I think I'd be H.M.S. Ginnafore. Still thinking about what the HMS stands for.

Today!
I've spent some crock time devoted to my devotion to Bravo programming, let's be honest. Well, last night I realized just how much I rely upon television to provide order in my world. A circuit tripped in my apartment at the exact 30th minute of the episode of Project Runway, leaving me in the dark figuratively and literally. Not only was I not going to know what happened (still haven't caught up yet, no spoilers), I also knew I was not recording the remainder of the episode! Or the Real Housewives finale! Terrible news! And imagine my consternation today when I did not know whether or not power would be restored in time for me to come home on a Friday night, hunker down with the Guide menu of my DVR, and record some programming I missed last night. WOW. I was tense all day! And mad at my building manager all day! Why such callous disregard for my need to plug in entertainment-providing appliances!?!?!

Well, joy of joys, I came home to discover power restored. Sure, there's one circuit that's just been left in the off position that appears to be unresolved and possibly a fire hazard, and sure, maybe there are paint chips from around the circuit breaker all over the kitchen floor, but hey! There are also back to back episodes of the Real Housewives franchise - an OC finale, and the NYC season premier.

Heaven...I'm in heaven....

Housewives on t.v. are professional bickerers. I kiiiiinda hate bickering! Yep! But man oh man, am I watching this shit. So, to honor this for being as ridiculous as it is, I've decided to take the "Which housewife of Orange County are you?" quiz on the bravo web site. Let's see who I am!

Uh oh, question one and I've already failed. "Who do you consider your best friend?"
Options for this are daughter, boyfriend, husband, and mother. Um....none of the above? Can my best friend be my best friend? Guess not. Let's pick mom. Question 2 - another failure! "Do you consider yourself a workaholic?" Isn't this one a yes/no?
No, no it's not.
Uh oh, how do I handle conflict with my significant other? Do you mean my best friend? Wait, that's my mom.
Uh oh! Am I comfortable making big purchases? This involves my man's opinion or gifts? Eek! Whole Foods sushi was a big purchase for me this evening...
Ahhh finally we've found a question for me. After speculation about whose celebrity fan club I'd join and my parenting style, a question about what gets me up in the morning, and the perfect answer - a bucket of coffee!

Twelve questions later and we've figured out who I am. Though I've seen quizzes in both Seventeen and Cosmo that seem more applicable to my lifestyle, I probably think this quiz is correct in its correlation with my OC Housewife style. I'm Jeana!
"Always able to keep a cool head amidst the chaos of her bickering brood, Jeana is a powerhouse realtor and the one most likely to dole out the best advice to a fellow housewife in a tough situation. Being Jeana means you're a kind soul, an amazing listener, and above all a true and genuine friend. Sure, you tend to have high expectations of the people you love, but it's only because you want them to realize their true potential."
Does this mean I'll do Playboy? Or let my daughter get implants? Or maybe that I'll host some good pool parties. We'll see. And yep, one day of minor television discontinuation might in fact make me an OC housewife in my obliviousness to real problems of the world. That one....yeah. Way more on point!

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